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A couple years ago, I wandered into a waterfront restaurant in Maui and sat down in an empty seat next to a lovely couple of people.

The conversation started that evening and, fortunately for me, it is still going on with the fabulous Marilynn Allemann joining us here on the Pauly Cast.

Some Pearls of Wisdom From Marilynn Allemann

• You have to seize control of your life and claim ownership. Marilynn feels that so much comes down to self-confidence and feeling worthy of the life you truly deserve. So many people play the role of victim and get stuck in repetitive patterns that only damage us.
• Marilynn also explains her definition of ‘under developed’ people and our assumption that everyone is operating at the same level as we are.
• One of her other tenants which is: Don’t ever settle! Whether it is in your relationship or even with your career, don’t ever settle for less. We have to know what we really want, and who we are.
• “If you are well defined to yourself, you will be able to define yourself to someone else, in a genuine manner.”
• We talked about this in relation to my two books, Hitchhiking With Larry David and Martha’s Vineyard Miracles.
• One of the areas where we get into trouble is casting someone in a role in our life, as opposed to loving them as they are.
• Marilynn says one of the most important tools is discovery your key values and seeing if there is a common ground with your potential partner.

Also, Pauly talks about the “five teas” principle of getting to know someone.